PRELUDE // A reconstruction of events after the breakup to serve as background and explanation of present and future details in HARD |< O R. by RoK ver 1.0 Send comments or flames to rok@uclink.berkeley.edu This file originally orignated from http://ucsee.eecs.berkeley.edu/~rk/HardKor.html Finished 1/22/96 Ni: The Lost Summer Part A: [Yuusaku is again engaging in a dream sequence, reflecting over the summer of chance and failure. In his dream, he is sitting outside the ABCB pub] It was the end of another school term, my junior year, and nothing was going right at all for me. My otou-san had lost his job earlier that week; this despite being a loyal worker at his company for 15 years. He was a victim of corporate downsizing, a popular trend during the early 1990s. I thought stuff like that only happens abroad in America. We were Japanese, the tough, Japanese, the endurable. But we too were affected by the world-wide recession nonetheless. No longer was it true that if you were a good worker with high productivity, you could be assured of your job for life. He was weeded out, because of his relatively high salary and rapid approaching middle age. Life was so unfair. To add to the troubles in our family, I was not doing too well in my studies. Often, my teachers would cite my lack of focus and concentration as the primary reasons for my failures. That was true -- I spend most of my time and brain power hatching up plots to win Hikaru's heart. Hikaru, by the way, was an old childhood friend of mine whom I have been stuck on for the longest time. I knew I cared for her; otherwise, why would I feel the bitter, green pangs of jealously surge through my veins everytime I see Hikaru bring Kyosuke his "special" box lunch at school everyday. I do admit it is not manly for me to constantly spy on your "love" from behind a tree all the time. But that was the only way I could see her without getting nervous. Kyosuke, by the way, was the name of my number one rival for Hikaru. He was a senior in high school, getting ready to enter college. He and Hikaru had been a "couple" for nearly four years, I believe. Despite him being older than me, he wasn't much of a man; I was much bigger than him and I could just beat the crap out of him, if I wanted to. But of course, he was protected by Hikaru, of whom he knew had control over me. He cared for her, but not in the way you would expect a real boyfriend (like me) should. Yes, they would go to places together and all that, but they hardly held hands together and I never ever saw them kiss at all. (Thank God!) It seemed like she always initiates the action and he tried to restrain her. That was one of Hikaru's bad traits, always wanting to force the issue. His relationship with Hikaru seemed rather tame; I felt he regarded Hikaru more as a very good friend than anything else, similar to my relationship to Madoka-sempai. Madoka-san, by the way, was the other childhood friend of mine, and was the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes on. But strangely enough, despite Madoka-san's goddess-like beauty I was never attracted to her. Hikaru had always been the one for me. Don't ask me why! It just happened that way. And that was why I was in the sorry shape you see me in now. So Kyosuke cared for Hikaru, but not in that special, intimate way. So why, you might ask why I hated Kyosuke with such a vengeance? Aside from the fact he was with Hikaru, he was also playing with Madoka-san's heart. Being Madoka-san other close friend, we frequently talked about what the affairs of the day. I was a person she could talk to and confide in with confidence. She also knew that I had a "thing" for Hikaru from the very beginning (childhood). She would often console me and try to cheer me up on my botched attempts to break Kyosuke and Hikaru up. During our talks, she often hinted of her interest in Kyosuke, though not explictly of course. That was not her way. She had too much pride for that. And she could never ever tell Hikaru about her interst in Kyosuke at all (of couse!). That was why she turned to either me or Master. You see, Madoka-san had few friends, because of her loner, delinquent past. She probably has more enemies that you can every imagine! Probably me, Hikaru, Kyosuke, and Master were the only major constants in her life. She lived alone for most of her adolescent years,since her parents, the famous Ayukawa musicians were abroad most of the time for their concert tours. I remember Madoka-sempai getting me and Hikaru front row seats one time to listen to her parents play in Tokyo. We sat together, me in the middle, as we soaked in the beautiful, soothing tones of the strings. It was truly an experience. If only my breakup schemes would go just as smoothly... So you can see how I, as a partial observer, viewed this sorrowful triangle of theirs as the watcher, the observer from afar. I can't really be included, since I was still not a serious contender. Like I said before, I felt Madoka had strong feelings for Kyosuke, despite her brusque,rough treatment of him most of the time. Call it intuition, but I could see the hurt and angst in her eyes everytime she sees Kyosuke and Hikaru frolicking together, similar to how I felt when I saw them together. Both of us were like two displaced people watching the two people whom we truly care for in someone else's arms. For me, I couldn't help it; I was simply not good enough for Hikaru yet, despite all my efforts to meet up to her expectations. Otherwise, why would she go for Kyosuke? Madoka, on the other hand, refused to interfere or get involved openly. She valued her longtime friendship with Hikaru too much. She lived by a code of loyalty and trust and she wasn't about to break her own rules. It seemed that as long as nothing serious happened between the two of them, she was content to let things be. (i.e. let Kyosuke and Hikaru engage in their "figurehead" girlfriend/boyfriend relationship) I, of course hoped Madoka decided otherwise. With her in the fray, it would help me wrest Hikaru away fromt he "evil" clutches of Kyosuke. But of course that would be too easy. And it would be selfish and vain on my part to depend on someone else to do my own "dirty work". To make things even more interesting, I believe Kyosuke had the very same intimate feelings for Madoka-san. You tend to pick up on these things when spying on him and Hikaru all the time. He also takes way too many "breaks" on his dates with Hikaru. I always wondered what he was up to. I would try to follow him to see why he's always in a hurry, but he manages to escape before I can track him down. I had no proof of course; just based on "gut" instincts, but it seemed that Kyouske prefers Madoka-san over Hikaru-chan. He always ends up with Madoka-sempai in the most uncompromising positions. And he always seems to be denying that he was actually Hikaru's boyfriend. It has happened once too often for it to be a coincidence. But it seems Hikaru was too blind to the fact that their budding, secret relationship was growing stronger. That's why I hated him; if he was more interested romatically in Madoka than Hikaru, then he should stop this charade with Hikaru and go after Madoka before things get too far and too serious to back out of;this would, of course, conveniently leave Hikaru all to myself. He can't have it both ways(and both girls!)! But of course he doesn't do that! He must find it amusing, torturing me by having the luxury to choose between two girls. Why must he play this "game" with me? He's already replaced me as the main male figure in Madoka-san and Hikaru-chan's life. What more does he want from me? Why can't he just choose? Is he is that indecisive that he couldn't make a decision to save his life! Why has the gods cursed me with this "demon"? |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R Part B: So that was the situation that confronted me. All my previous failed schemes during the schoolyear had incurred Hikaru's wrath and strained our friendship. Hikaru-chan seemed more and more hostile towards me everytime we met. I was in her "doghouse". Things were getting worse for me. I was ready to give up. I had been resisting the advances of a particular girl in class who had takened a liking to me, holding out for Hikaru. But senior year was coming up though, and my prospects of snagging Hikaru was getting bleak. Maybe I should just quit this childish fascination of mine and get on with my life. "Oi! Yuusaku! Did you hear the news? Kyosuke dumped Hikaru!" I looked up. It was Komatsu. "What are you talking about? Stop messing with me. I'm not in the mood for your wild rumors." "Suit yourself. But I just saw Kyosuke give Hikaru the cold shoulder in the park. Ja Ne!(Later!) I've got to spread the news!" (runs off) Could it be really true? Is this my big chance? Is my luck taking a change for the better? "Yo Yuusaku! There's a hot rumor going around that Hikaru and her "Darling" have split up. You must be estatic!" I looked up again. This time it was Hatta. "Arigato for the info" "Bye!" Now it was confirmed. Anytime both Komatsu and Hatta spread the same rumor, it was probably true. Hikaru and Kyosuke were not a couple anymore. Banzai! "Why are you so happy, Yuu-kun?" I looked up again for the third time. It was Madoka-semapi, who was taking a break from her work. "Oh, it's nothing." "Come on, Yuu-kun. I know you too well. You're obviously trying to hide something. You can't be happy over nothing. Come on, spill the beans." She was right. Madoka-san could always see through me. I could never hide anything from her. NOt being able to keep a "poker" face Was one of my drawbacks. "It's about Hikaru-chan. She's finally detached from that Kyosuke-bum!" "Hino Yuusaku! You shouldn't talk about Kasuga like that. What do you mean detached?" "They broke up; Or as I hear it, he broke up with her." (A sudden solemness suddenly materialized over Ayukawa-san's face) "Sou ka,... I have to go back inside,... I talk to you later..." "Madoka-san? Daijoubu ka? Damn! Think before you speak dummy! Don't go around shooting off your mouth! I should have made up something. Baka baka baka baka baaaaaakkkAAAAA! Now she thinks its all her fault! Curse that Kyosuke! Wait till I get my hands on him... (clenches fist and pounds it into his hands) "Yuuskau! What the hell are you doing out here?" Uh oh. I would recognize that voice anywhere. It was my beloved Hikaru, except she was in a very foul, vindictive mood! It was time to be afraid, ... to be very afraid... "Did you hear me? I asked you a question! Must I say everything twice!" "I-I-I was just hanging out, that's all! Honest! Why are you here?" "To see if it was true." (Glares into pub straight at Madoka. Madoka, noticing her presences, tilts her head down and looks away in guilt) "SO IT IS TRUE! I didn't want to believe it, but it's true. MY BEST FRIEND STOLE MY BOYFRIEND! " "Calm down, Hikaru! People are starting to look. " "I DON'T CARE! LET THEM LOOK ALL THEY WANT! WHO GIVES A KUSO ABOUT THEM?" (starts to stamp her feet and throw a fit of hysterics, pounding Yuusaku in the process) "Owwww! That hurts" (Boy, she was still very strong indeed! Even for me!) (A few minutes later, after Hikaru's temper tantrum has subsided a bit...) "Let's get out of here! I don't want to see her face at all!" "Where to?" "We're going to your place." "But why..." "Do have to question everything I say. I said we're going back to your place, so let's go." (pushes him forward) "Ok Ok! I'm going! No need to get rough..." I looked back through the window of the ABCB pub at Madoka's sad, forlorn face, and couldn't help thinking how our happy triumverate of years past was finally going to be broken up over that bakemono Kyosuke. In a way, they were like sisters to me, And I couldn't bear to see them mad at each other. It has been a long time since they were last at odds over each other over something... (Flashback memory 10 years ago...) Chibi Hikaru: You brought that teddy bear for me, didn't you? Chibi Madoka: No! He brought it for me! Small Yuu: (thinking to himself) Chibi Hikaru: Well! Have you decided? Who are you going to give the bear to? Small Yuu: Give away? My bear? Chibi Madoka: Come on! We can't wait all day! What's your decision? Chibi Hikaru: You should give it me because I'm the cutest! Chibi Madoka: No! You should give it to me because I'm the oldest! Chibi Hikaru: No, me! Chibi Madoka: No, he is going to give it to me! Little Yuu standing there, confused, clutching his teddy bear amid the raucous fray of the arguing "death angels." Chibi Hikaru and Madoka: (together) WHO IS IT GOING TO BE!? Small Yuu: Ummm,.... (small voice, unsure) I don't know? Chibi Hikaru: God, what a wimpy response! Chibi Madoka: What a letdown! Chibi Hikaru: You have until tomorrow to decide. If you don't give me the bear, I won't ever talk to you ever! Chibi Madoka: The same goes for me! The two girls glare at each other and makes faces at each other ("Bleah!") before turning away in defiance and stomping away. Gee. Why me? Girls are SO strange. (looks at teddy bear) Well, buddy. You got to help me out now. What should I do? I don't want to give you away, but it seems like I have no choice. But to whom though... [The next day, at the playground...] Chibi Hikaru: (acting nice) So Yuu-kun; you're going to choose me, right? Chibi Madoka: He's going to give it to his favorite onee-san, isn't that right? Little Yuu: Actually, I couldn't decide which one of you to give it to. So to be fair, I decided to each half of my teddy bear to each of you. Chibi Hikaru: What? That's so stupid! Why do I hang around with such dumb kids. I'm going! (storms off for home) Chibi Madoka: Yeah Hino. I knew you were simple-minded, but not like this. (turns and walks away) (Yuusaku is sitting on the sand-filled playground and he starts to cry, sobbing on his teddy bear. Madoka turns around and starts to feel bad about the situation. She turns around and walks back up to him. ) Chibi Madoka: Please stop crying, Yuu-kun. You're suppose to act more manly. And men aren't suppose to cry. How are you suppose to get Hikaru-chan to like you if she sees you like this, sobbing like a weakling? Go and give Hikaru the bear. Little Yuu: (wipes away tears) Are you sure it's OK with you? Chibi Madoka: Yeah, of course! I'm too old for teddy bears anyway. Hikaru-chan looks like the one who needs it;) Go on ahead. You can still catch her if you run. Little Yuu: (Beams a big smile! :) ) Oh THANK YOU Madoka-san! You're the best onee-san a boy can have! (gives her a hug) Atikamess! (see ya later!) (Runs up to Hikaru) Little Yuu: Oi! Hikaru-chan! Yamero! Matte! I changed my mind.I decided to give you the bear instead. (Stop) (Wait) Chibi Hikaru: Honto? You better not be lying to me. I can't stand little boys who play tricks on their onee-san! Little Yuu: No; I'm serious. Here. (holds teddy bear up to Hikaru) Chibi Hikaru: (snatches up and squeezes up to her bosom and twirls around a few times) Waaa! Suteki! (Cool!) Kawaii! Komochi li (feels good)... Arigatou Yuusaku-kun! I knew you would come to your senses and make the right choice... I think I'll give him a name... I'll call him ... -- Kumagorou-kun! Ja ne! (Hikaru runs off, leaving little Yuusaku standing there in the middle of the sidewalk by himself. By the way she is holding him, we can see the teddy bear's head perched over Hikaru's right shoulder facing Yuusaku, his teddy bear paws listlessly flapping up and down as if it was waving goodbye to him.) (waves back to teddy bear) Well then Kumagorou-kun, my pal; please protect my Hikaru-chan for me when I'm not around. (End of Flashback) (At Yuusaku's house...) "Kumagorou-kun!" "Huh?" "Kumagorou-kun! My teddy bear! Where is he? I know you still have him." "But didn't you throw him over into the river..." "And I made you go fetch him again. You did keep him for me, didn't you? Don't tell me you threw him away!!!" "Of course not! I wouldn't throw an old friend away!" "Then go get him. Now!" "Oh alright! (grumble, grumble; walks up stairs) (in Yuusaku's room, he enters closet and removes the teddy bear from a box. He gives the bear a little shake to remove some of the gathering dust. Walks back down to living room where Hikaru is sitting on the couch. No one is home, as usual. (i.e. Mom gone out shopping) "Now if you don't mind, me and my bear would like to be alone for a while. So SCRAM!" (walks back upstairs and sulks in his room) (Hikaru talking to teddy bear...) Hello Kumagorou-kun. It's been a long time since I last saw you. I really missed you. I'm sorry I didn't come by more often to visit you. But you know how Sempai is about these things, thinking you are so childish and all. So it's best to let Yuusaku take custody of you for now. How has he been treating you? (smells him) Not too good at all? Well don't worry! I give him a beating for mistreating you! But that would have to wait. I need your help. A very bad thing happened to me today. My Darling, ... he left me. I don't know why... I didn't do anything to upset him and all. I just don't understand! Why would he leave me for my best friend Madoka? But I don't blame him at all. It must be something wrong with me. But I'm sure what... You're the only one who understands, don't you? What should I do? You're the only one I can turn to. (Starts to tear up a little as the tear drops gingerly and slowly flow down and off her delicate, pure, white cheeks and onto on the teddy bear) Just hold me and give me support. You were always good at that. I'll worry about what to do tomorrow... |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R |< o R Part C And that's the way it was. Hikaru went off into her super-stalking mode on Kyosuke, leaving me in the dust of her mind. But it affected everyone, not just me alone; While she was stuck in her phase, everyone around her was totally non-existant. She was totally oblivious and neglectful of her friends. Of course she didn't talk to Madoka at all during this period. She isolated herself and stopped coming to the ABCB pub altogether. she had only one person on her mind: Kyosuke. Again, another case of how my opportunity turned to futility. It seems things between between me and Hikaru became worse during the splitup; At least I could get a moment of her attention before when they were together. But now, she spent all her time trying to win back her "Darling", kind of what I was trying to do with her. I uttered a sardonic laugh over the irony of the whole situation. And were some of the things she was doing in her "war" to win back Darling? Why, many things in fact! To start out with, she would send a package of fresh, homemade cookies everyday to that "bakayaro", mimicking the lunchbox ritual she carried out in high school. Along with every package of cookies, she would enclose a letter proclaiming her "love" for Kyosuke. And just how I know this, you might ask? Why, I would climb up the old venerable, tree overlooking her bedroom where the 3 of us use to "hang" out on and peer inside. Of couse, she would catch me peeking outside and throw a pencil at me, causing me to fall to the ground. Of course she would never come out to see if I was actually seriously hurt, as I winced from the constant headaches of my falls. Thankfully I was in good physical shape; or else I could have been injured severely. Guess all those falls during my karate sessions wasn't in vain afterall. And about those packages, I would tail behind her all the way to the post office. Just because she wouldn't talk to me doesn't mean I can't follow her. I would try to call her, but of course the line would be busy. She was always trying to call up Kyosuke. I know; her okaa-san, Mrs Hiyami-san told me. She too remarked at the strange behavior of her musume (daughter) and asked me if I knew what was troubling her. I just said it was boy-trouble and left it at that. Of course you know all about Hikaru's temper, and I didn't want to get in more hot-water with her. So given all this adversity and turmoil I was facing, did I ever thought to stop trying, you might ask? Of course not. It being summer, with all the free time and all, I resolved to double my efforts to win Hikaru's heart. I wasn't one to give up so easily; Hey, I'm been chasing her for nearly ten years now. Call it devotion or call it stupidity, but I realized that the game would be up if I didn't succeed in snaring her. The final year of attending the same high school together was approaching. Given the sorry state of my grades, it wasn't likely that we weren't going to be attending the same college. By that time, we will have been too far separated and removed to form any real, serious relationship. She might meet and fall in love with some guy in college and that would be the end of it. As for me, I wasn't sure of my future. I wasn't even sure if I could even make it to a decent college. The prospects of being a ronin was very real to me. So this was my final shot at her. All or nothing, that was my motto. Unfortunately for me, I would have to wait till the school year to start before I would have my "shot" at her again. You see, my okaa-san (mother) grounded me for the whole summer because of my poor academic showing. Plus since I was an able-bodied person, she got me a job hauling crates of food at this grocery store in June. (The owner of the store owed her a favor!) So there wasn't any free time available for me to "probe" into Hikaru's affairs. I worked from sunrise until sunset at 7pm when the store closed. The money I earned was funneled back into the family finances, which was dwindling fast, because of the high cost of living here in Tokyo. At night, she would make sure I was studying in my room instead of hanging out outside or reading my manga magazines. So you see, there wasn't any time for me at all to see my beloved one. As I neared my last week of work, I was looking forward to giving Hikaru a small gift: a charm bracelet. I worked extra hours on the weekends in order to secure enough money for it. With this charm bracelet, I would finally be able to openly proclaim my love for her. Hopefully, I would be persusive enough to sway her over to my side and have her acknowledge us as boyfriend and girlfriend. Of course, I practiced in front of a mirror, rehearsing how and what I was going to say to her. We would be having a picnic under a shady tree in the park. I would have already carved out a heart symbol with both our initials in it on the tree to set up the mood. I would say: Hikaru-chan,... we been just friends for a long time, but now I feel both of us should go on to the next level. And she would say: What do you mean, Yuu-kun? I would reach out and lift both her hands up towards mine. She would be startled at my bold move. I would next gaze deeply into her eyes and say: "You know,... to be a couple and all that. So what do you say? Do you consent?" While she is deciding, I would slip the charm bracelet over her thin, delicate wrist. And she would say: Ohhh,... is this for me?" And I would say: Yes darling. A token of oour upcoming relationship. And she would say: Yes. I never realized it, but it always been you all along. I was a fool to waste my time chassing that jerk! And while she was busily admiring her bauble, I would edge in close to her for a kiss and ..." "Hino Yuusaku! Stop kissing the mirror and come down here right now! There's something very important we need to discuss with you. " Oops! It looks like okaasan caught me doing something silly again. I didn't realize it at the time, but those next few moments would prove to be the most devastating. Otou-san: Yuusaku. There's something very important I need to tell you. You know all about our financial situation and such. Because we don't have that much savings left to live on, I've decided to sell the house and move out of Tokyo!" [End of chapter Ni]