isaackuo@chaos.berkeley.edu (Isaac Kuo) Kyou*Kyou*Hakusho -- What is it anyway? The purpose of KKH is to provide a fanfic world in which anyone can write what they think would happen in a fight between *** and *** (especially Madoka vs. ***). The plot is very unoriginal--basically taken from Yuu Yuu Hakusho. Much of the plot of Yuu Yuu Hakusho is skipped entirely. Very many details are entirely changed and/or occur in a different order. Most of the characters are taken from Kimagure Orange Road, but some of Yuu Yuu Hakusho's characters are used. I describe the appearances of those characters taken from YYH, but do no such thing for the KOR characters. Roughly, episode one of KKH takes the place of the "One hour timeslip" episode of KOR. KKH's basic overall plot is: 1. The main character, Kasuga Kyousuke, dies saving a little kid. He wasn't supposed to die, though, and returns to life. 2. He gains a new power (the Rei Gun), and works as an "investigator" for Koenma, who runs the spirit world. 3. On his first job, he has to recover three stolen artifacts, whereupon he meets two of his future allies. 4.a. Potential story inserted here--any fight/story which wouldn't fit in the arena arc may be placed here. 4.b. The arena tournament. Various teams enter this tournament, and the team which wins the tournament is granted a wish. Two teams fight each other at a time, either as individuals or as groups. "Even" matches are not required. The arena is a large circular ring made up of large square blocks (except for the edge pieces). The audience is made up of spirits/demons/whatever and Botan, Hikaru, Manami, and Kurumi, It is not unusual for various actions in the arena to kill off large sections of the audience or do massive damage to the arena. The Kasuga team consists of Kyousuke, Yuusaku, Hiei, and Madoka, but not all of them need participate at a time (i.e. if you don't know who Hiei is, just ignore him when you write your story). Inconsistencies with any other arena stories are perfectly fine: it's okay for Madoka vs. the Sailor Senshi to occur several times. Also, there's no lower limit on how long the fights have to be: Cell vs. Ataru is okay. Use of fanfic characters such as Sailor Ranma is fine, too. The referee is supposed to be Juri, a cute girl with blue "batwing" ears (which behave like Deedlit's) and a blue tail, but one may replace her with anyone. 5. After the arena. I/someone else _might_ bother with continuing the story, but probably not. The running love triangle between Hikaru, Kyousuke, and Madoka is retained, with the additional complication of Botan (who, while very cute, also happens to be Death). The opening credits and eyecatch are based on Yuu Yuu Hakusho's. They're unimportant, except that the OP features a couple spoilers (which you've already read if you read the summary above anyway.) Notes on the format of YYH: << text >> This is Kyousuke's thoughts with the black-border freeze frame. Some character's thoughts. [text] English description of what's going on. Except for the descriptions, I made an attempt to write what you'd see in a subtitle rather than proper English. Thus, all of the names are written as spoken. In the English descriptions, honorifics are dropped. Enjoy; any comments/suggestions are encouraged; the usual disclaimers apply; and I welcome anyone to contribute to this fanfic world! Kyou*Kyou*Hakusho (badly mistranslated as Whimsical Report) fanfic by Isaac Kuo isaackuo@math.berkeley.edu Based on characters and sitations from Yuu Yuu Hakusho and Kimagure Orange Road. Episode 1 Kasuga Kyousuke--Dead! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <> [As Kyousuke is thinking this, he is looking into the mirror and hypnotizes himself. His eyes become narrow and basically unfriendly looking.] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OP: (Same music as Yuu Yuu Hakusho) [Botan appears on her oar among the clouds, does a 360 flip and flies off.] [An overhead view of a desert, where the kanji for Kyou*Kyou*Hakusho converge on the screen. Botan flies across the screen diagonally as it converges.] [On the ground, four figures run toward and then past the camera--Kyousuke, Yuusaku, Madoka, and Hiei.] [A towering Panda holding a huge sign saying "I'm hungry" threatens Hikaru and Botan, who cringe at the horrible sight.] [The panda gets hit in the back by an energy blast. Cut to a side view of Kyousuke, holding out a pointed finger while the other three run past him.] [The panda gets chopped in half vertically by Yuusaku with a "karate chop".] [Against an undefined background, Hiei pops in, unsheaths his katana and slices several times with it.] [Against a different, but still undefined backrgound, Madoka is shown fanning several rose petal guitar picks in front of her face.] [She tosses them all at once in various directions and then flips back her hair.] [A panning view of a wide array of monsters/characters from other anime shows.] [In the arena, a strange whirlwind tears a path toward the four heros. They jump out of the way one by one.] [The four land in formation with the other characters. Kyousuke, in the center, is the only one animated and after he lands with bent knees, he straightens up, extending his right arm and pointed finger at the viewer.] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [Kyousuke is running down a street with his normal worried expression] Kyousuke: [As Kyousuke looks around, he sees a little boy playing with a ball about to get run over by a speeding car. He jumps while teleporting to the boy and pushes him out of the way. Kyousuke then gets immediately hit by the car.] [The dead spirit of Kyousuke gains consciousness floating over the scene.] Kyousuke: Botan:[cheerily] Hello! [Kyousuke turns to see a cute young girl in a blue kimono with long flowing arms smiling at him. She's sitting on a floating oar holding a book.] I'm Botan. Pleased to meet you. Kyousuke: P-p-p-pleased to meet you. I'm Kasuga Kyousuke. Botan:[cheerily] I know that. I'm Death. It looks like you got hit by a car. Kyousuke: Y-yeah. [Botan looks up for a little while, and then check something in her book.] Botan: Umm... It looks like there's some sort of problem. Botan:[cheerily] You're not supposed to be dead. You weren't supposed to get hit. We didn't expect you to save that boy. Kyousuke: What do you mean? Botan:[cheerily] He was going to get saved by that other high school student down there. [points to a high school boy hurrying off, followed a bit back by his twin brother]. _He_ was supposed to save the boy and get hit. [still cheerily] So you see, you really died for nothing! Kyousuke: ... Botan:[cheerily] Well, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with you. Well then, I'll take you to see Enma-sama. Come sit on my oar. [Botan grabs Kyousuke and plants him behind her on the oar.] Hold on tight! <> Botan:[cheerily] Here we go! [The oar and its two passengers fly off into the sky; as soon as they reach the clouds they are transported to be flying over a desert landscape.] <> [Cut to Kyousuke in his room, with his distrusting narrow eyed face. Someone rings the doorbell.] Kyousuke: Shut up. [Outside, Hikaru rings the doorbell again. She notices the door is unlocked, and enters. Hikaru looks around the apparently deserted Kasuga residence.] Hikaru: Sempai? Sempai? [Kyousuke gets up, slams open his door and confronts a frightenned Hikaru.] Kyousuke: Hey you! You think you can just enter anyone's house without permission? Who are you? Hikaru: S-sempai... [Kyousuke grabs Hikaru by the shoulders and throws her into the room.] Kyousuke: Who are you! What do you want! Hikaru: What's wrong with you, sempai? [Kyousuke grabs Hikaru again and throws her down to his bed. He jumps over her and pins her. Hikaru cringes and hides her face with both hands. Kyousuke looks down to see Hikaru's dress had flopped up, revealing her panties.] Kyousuke: White... [Hikaru instinctively pushes her dress down, but in doing so pushes Kyousuke's knees out from under him. Kyousuke falls on top of Hikaru. Hikaru cries out and bursts out from under Kyousuke. She pauses and turns around at the door, still scared.] Hikaru: ...Are you okay? [Kyousuke starts getting up from the bed with an angry expression on his face.] Kyousuke: Why you... [Hikaru jumps back at this and runs, slamming the door closed behind her. Kyousuke chases her, but hits his head on the closed door. He snaps out of it.] Kyousuke: Eeeeeeh!! [Kyousuke scrambles out of the house to chase Hikaru.] Hikaru-chaaaan! [Cut back to Kyousuke behind Botan on her oar, with Botan's hair fluttering about in Kyousuke's face, which has a sad expression.] Kyousuke: [Botan and Kyousuke are approaching a large, foreboding castle-like building.] Botan: You'd better be polite to Enma-sama. Since you're not supposed to be dead, we might be able to return you to life. Kyousuke: Return to life? Botan: Yeah. Kyousuke: But maybe it's better the way it is. Everyone forgot about me and if I came back to life, our family would have to move. Botan:[cheerily] What are you talking about? I know the real reason you're upset. [Cut momentarily to Kyousuke's surprised face.] I'm sure Hikaru-san isn't mad at you anymore. Kyousuke: Eh? Hikaru-chan ... ? Botan: Surely you've done worse before, right? [Botan looks back at Kyousuke with a cheery smile.] Kyousuke: [holding his hand behind his head] Yeah. That's true, isn't it! Hehehehe! [Botan non-reacts with her cheery smile.] [They reach the doors of the castle-like building.] Botan: Well then, let's enter! And be polite, okay? [Botan rings the doorbell.] Botan: It's Botan. I have Kasuga Kyousuke. [As the doors slide open, it becomes extremely loud with the busy voices inside. Inside is the stereotypical bank-style establishment crouded with oni businessmen. Two oni at nearby desks are talking to each other over phones. One is a woman with in a yellow striped bikini and the other is a man wearing yellow striped trunks.] Umao: Ushiko-san. Why are you Ushiko-san? Ushiko: Umao-san. Why are you Umao-san? [Botan and Kyousuke obliviously pass the two. They go to the central office, and the one-horned secretary lets them in. Inside, Koenma is sitting behind a desk. He is a very short young boy with a pacifier in his mouth. He is wearing a bib and a very large round hat with OU (kanji) and "jr." (roman) written on it. He acts very businesslike in spite of his youth. In front of his desk is a screen on which a baseball game is playing.] Botan: Ah! Enma-sama? Koenma: Come in. Enma isn't here right now. I'm Enma Junior, or just Koenma. [When Koenma speaks, his pacifier stays in his mouth, although it shakes around a bit.] [Kyousuke is trying to be polite, but the sight of Koenma's pacifier is too much for him. He can't help but start laughing. Botan knocks Kyousuke on the head which stops him.] Botan: Be polite! Kyousuke: Sorry--Koenma-sama. [Koenma sits there apparently unphased.] Koenma: I've looked at your situation, and you can return to life if you pass a test. It's a dangerous test, because if you fail it then your soul is destroyed. Kyousuke: What is it? Koenma: I can't tell you unless you accept it. [Kyousuke looks at Botan, who is rather nervous.] Botan: I don't know what it is either. Kyousuke: ... It doesn't matter what it is, I'll do the test. Koenma: Okay, Kasuga Kyousuke ... [He reaches into one of his pockets and pulls out something in his hand] Here it is! [On Koenma's palm is a gold egg.] Koenma: Keep this egg safe. It measures your emotions, and if you feed it good emotions, it will hatch into a good spirit. Otherwise, it will hatch into an monster which will eat your soul. So don't get angry too much! Botan: ... Is anger the only negative emotion? Koenma: No, also don't get afraid, mistrusting, or indecisive. Botan: ... [Botan imagines a multi-headed monster somewhat like a hydra hatching from the egg.] Kyousuke: I'll do it! [Cut to Kyousuke and Botan floating over the Kasuga residence, at nighttime.] Botan: They're holding your wake now. Will you go see it? Kyousuke: Sure. If I fail this test, then I'll really be dead anyway. [Kyousuke floats inside. The various members of the Kasuga family are mourning, as well as Hikaru, Komatsu, and Hatta.] Kyousuke: [Kyousuke's coffin is in his room under a candlelit picture of him. Kyousuke's father is praying in front of him.] Kasuga:[whisper] Kyousuke, it's too bad what happened. [Kasuga leaves the room. Manami and Kurumi enter and pray.] Manami:[whisper] Onii-chan... Kurumi:[whisper] Onii-chan moron. Why did you let that car hit you? Kyousuke: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Commercial Break Eyecatch: Superdeformed Hiei, Yuusaku, Botan, Hikaru, Kyousuke, and Madoka line the bottom of the screen, with four "flying eye bombs." Each of Hiei, Yuusaku, Kyousuke, and Madoka attack one of the flying eye bombs: Hiei: a katana slice (presumably, it's too fast to see). Yuusaku: "karate chop" Kyousuke: Uses "power." He's the only one who doesn't jump up to attack. He just concentrates momentarily. Madoka: Rose pick (looks like a rose petal). When hit, the flying eye bombs turn into the kanji for Kyou Kyou Hakusho. Kyousuke straightens them out with four Rei Gun blasts. Then a large (SD human sized) Jingoro drops down and lands on Kyousuke's head. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [Hikaru enters Kyousuke's room with tears streaming all over her face. Her eyes are red--she's been crying for a long time. She throws herself on top of Kyousuke's coffin.] Kyousuke: Hikaru-chan. Hikaru: [wailing] Darling! Why? Why did you have to die? Darling... [whisper] It's all my fault. I wasn't ready. I'm so sorry, Darling. [Hikaru raises up her head with a shock of recognition.] Hikaru: [wail] Darling!!! [whisper] I love you. [Hikaru sniffles up and composes herself (a little) before leaving. Kyousuke stares dumbfoundedly at her as she leaves.] Kyousuke: Hikaru-chan. [Yuusaku, who hasn't been crying, approaches Hikaru with a concerned look and tries to hold her shoulders.] Yuusaku: Hikaru-chan... [Hikaru shrugs him off with a "hmpff," and turns away from Yuusaku. He sags dejected for a moment and then enters Kyousuke's room determinedly. He walks right up to Kyousuke's coffin, on which Kyousuke's spirit happens to be sitting, with the uncanny appearance of looking Kyousuke in the eye.] Yuusaku: Kyousuke! What did you do to Hikaru-chan! I know you did something funny! Aaargh! It's not fair! I have to punish you for what you did to Hikaru-chan and you went and died! You cheater!!! [Yuusaku has been waving his fist in the air.] [Hikaru is in the open doorway angrily.] Hikaru: Yuuusaku! [Yuusaku looks back nervously at Hikaru. He lowers his eyes and slinks out of the room.] [After a little while, no one has entered Kyousuke's room.] Kyousuke: That's it? Where's Ayukawa? At least what about Komatsu and Hatta? [Kyousuke floats through his door and sees Komatsu and Hatta with lecherous smiles holding onto Kurumi and Manami respectively. The twins don't take notice and weep while letting the guys get away with it.] Kyousuke: Well, what did I expect? [he pans around to see Madoka still isn't here.] Oh well, I guess I'll just wait. [Several hours later. Everyone has left or has gone to sleep. Kyousuke is sitting with a dazed look. Botan floats in.] Botan: Hi there! Kyousuke: Oh, Botan-chan. Botan: We have to get you back into your body or it'll be too late. Kyousuke: Eh? Already? What about the test? [Kyousuke checks his pocket and sees the egg is still intact.] Botan: Well, it'll be a while before the egg hatches. In the meantime, you'd better return to your body or it will spoil. Kyousuke: You mean I'm returning to life, now? Botan: Yes, but remember that when the egg hatches... [cut to the multi-headed hydra monster hatching from the egg.] Kyousuke: [nervous] Understood! [Botan smiles with a little laugh at Kyousuke.] So what do I do? Botan: First off, you've got to keep your family from creamating your body! Kyousuke: Ehh!?! When are they doing that? Botan: You didn't know? Tomorrow morning. Kyousuke: It can't be! How do I stop it? Botan: Well, you can take over someone's body for an hour, but it has to be someone "psychically sensitive." Kyousuke: [relieved] Oh, then there's no problem. I'll just take over Kurumi or Manami. [Cut to Kyousuke and Botan floating in the sisters's room. The two are asleep.] Kyousuke: You mean it won't work if they're asleep? What about dad? Botan: [Looks up momentarily.] Umm, sorry he won't do. [Botan checks what looks like a wristwatch compass.] The nearest person suitable is off in this direction. Kyousuke: Good, let's go! [Later, they find Yuusaku exercising under a streetlamp in the park. Yuusaku momentarily turns his head slightly in their direction, but dismisses his feeling and continues exercising.] Kyousuke: Him? Well, whatever works. Sorry, Yuusaku-kun. [Kyousuke floats so that he overlaps Yuusaku. In an instant, he takes over Yuusaku.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Okay, now to get back home. [Yuusaku/Kyousuke concentrates to no effect.] Oh no, I can't use the power! Yuusaku/Kyousuke: I'd better get to a phone. Botan: [floating above the rooftops and pointing] There's one over there! [Yuusaku/Kyousuke runs off and eventually arrives at the telephone, which turns out to not have an easy direct path to. At that point, he tries to search his pockets for change before realizing that he doesn't have any pockets.] <> [Yuusaku/Kyousuke runs back to the park and looks around for his backpack. 20 minutes have already passed.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Where is it? [After a little while he finds the backpack behind a nearby bush. Yuusake/Kyousuke scrambles through it to find a decent amount of change. He rushes back to the telephone.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Okay! [He puts in a coin and dials home. He gets a busy signal.] [Back in the Kasuga residence, Jingoro is asleep on top of a knocked over telephone.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Hey, Botan-chan! Go see what's happenned at home. Botan: Okay! [She flies off on her oar. She passes by a clock revealing that 30 minutes are left.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: I'll try Ayukawa. [He pops in a coin and dials her number. After 7 rings, her answering machine replies. He listens to the whole message.] Ayuka--[He hangs up.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Well then, Hikaru-chan. [He pops in a coin and dials her number. It is answered by Hikaru's father.] Hiyama: Yes? Yuusaku/Kyousuke: It's Ky-- Yuusaku. Is Hikaru-chan there? Hiyama: No, she went to Kyousuke-kun's wake. Should I leave a message? Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Er, no, that's alright. [He hangs up.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Maybe ABCB. [He dials up ABCB and Master answers.] Master: ABCB Cafe/restaurant. Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Um, is Ayukawa there? Master: "Ayukawa?" No, Madoka-kun has taken a couple days off. She said she'd be back in a week. Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Um, do you know where Madoka-san went? Master: No, I don't. Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Thanks...Um, what about Hikaru-chan? Master: Hikaru-chan? She hasn't been here today. Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Oh. Well, thank you. [He hangs up.] Oh well, I guess I'll have to try Komatsu or Hatta. [Four thugs appear from the shadows.] Thug 1: Would you be kind enough as to lend us some money? <> [Yuusaku/Kyousuke punches Thug 1, knocking him cold.] <> Thug2: Why you! Thug 3: You brat! [The other thugs converge on Yuusaku/Kyousuke. He kicks the breath out of one of them, but the other two grab a hold of him. They beat up on him a bit, and when Thug 1 recovers, they leave along with Yuusaku's backpack.] [Botan returns, passing a clock showing he has 25 minutes left.] Botan: It's a disaster! The phone's off the hook. Kyousuke-kun? [Yuusaku/Kyousuke is a bit beat up.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: I don't have money for a phone call anyway. Botan: Well, don't just sit there, go find a cop or something! You still have time, and I'll help out. Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Yes! [Yuusaku/Kyousuke runs around for a while, with Botan weaving about overhead. Time steadily flows away as he frantically searches.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Eh? [Yuusaku/Kyousuke notices Hikaru exiting a nearby ice cream shop heading the other way.] Hikaru-chan... [Yuusaku/Kyousuke approaches Hikaru from behind.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: [Yuusaku/Kyousuke carefully creeps up behind Hikaru and cups his hands over her eyes.] Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Guess who! [Hikaru immediately turns around angrily and slaps Yuusaku/Kyousuke.] Hikaru: IDIOT YUUSAKU!!! [Hikaru pauses for a moment, and gets a shocked look on her face.] Hikaru: ...what happenned to you--Yuusaku? <> Yuusaku/Kyousuke: It's nothing. What's important is that you take care of Kyousuke's body. Hikaru: [angry] "Kyousuke--?!" Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Look, Hikaru-chan. Just stop them from creamating Kyousuke-san's body. It's important! I don't have time to explain. Hikaru: Oh, if it's so important than I'll do it. I don't want such a sempai to disapear anyway. Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Oh, and another thing. In a little I'm going to forget that I told you to do this. Don't you forget! Hikaru: Whatever, whatever. At least you're nice to sempai for once. Yuusaku/Kyousuke: Will you please take good care of Kyousuke-san? [Hikaru looks at Yuusaku for once, and barely sees Kyousuke superimposed on him.] Hikaru: Y-yes. [Hikaru starts crying and buries her face in her hands for a moment. When she looks up, Kyousuke has left Yuusaku's body, and Yuusaku is standing there confused.] Yuusaku: Um.. Hikaru-chan. What's going on? Hikaru: [crying] Don't you remember? Yuusaku: Remember what? ... Hikaru-chan. Hikaru: [turning away] Idiot Yuusaku. [Hikaru walks away.] [Kyousuke is now floating beside Botan; both are looking down on the scene.] Botan: Good, you did it. Kyousuke: I think so. That was close. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [Hikaru's voice] Next episode! Who mourns for Kyousuke? For Kyousuke to come back to life, one of the three people who most want him to come back has to kiss him before midnight. What should I do, sempai? Please come back to life! [Madoka's voice] Next time! Midnight deadline for Kyousuke! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ED: Jingoro running up a bunch of stairs, with various scenes from future episodes on posters on the wall. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Send any comments/suggestions/whatever to isaackuo@math.berkeley.edu -- _____ Isaac Kuo (isaackuo@math.berkeley.edu) _|_>o<_|_ |6|6| "Urameshi Team no baka" --Hiei, upon entry of Kuwabara /_________\ |6|6| \=\-----/=/ |---| "Ludicrous da!" --Char (from CCA)